‘We know you’re ill,’ my wife says. ‘You’re bringing everyone down’
The plane lands in Mallorca when it is still early morning. I’ve been awake since 4am, so when my wife volunteers to drive, I offer no resistance. A few miles from the airport, we enter a large roundabout. My phone instructs us to take the third exit.
“This one?” my wife asks.
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Hello, my name is Jack Sparrow. I'm a 50 year old self-employed Pirate from the Caribbean. 
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